SPEAKING OF REALITY "RELATIONSHIPS": Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley's marriage had more validity than 82-year-old Hugh Hefner's purported relationship with his three Playboy Bunnies, Holly Madison, Kendra Wilkinson and Bridget Marquardt. But even fake relationships have an expiration date, and the union (can a foursome still be called that?) came to an end.
[That's the total Wacko Jacko mention here -- a backhand slam to a sham marriage -- but there is a Tito/Janet Jackson 1-2 punch later in the article. -ed.]
SANTA BARBARA, CA: During a search for evidence at the Neverland Valley Ranch, investigators discovered a corpse that has been identified as that of Michael Jackson, Santa Barbara police officials announced ...
Coroners have officially pronounced Michael Jackson dead. From what we can tell, he died between 18 and 20 years ago," forensic investigator Tim Holbrooke said.
According to Holbrooke, Jackson's corpse was buried just inches below a stretch of the miniature-train tracks that run throughout Neverland. The largely desiccated corpse wore the remains of a red, zipper-covered leather jacket and a single glove.
"The crowd of NAMBLA members cheered Michael Jackson as he promenaded out of the court room. Guilty or not, there was no doubt in anyone's mind: Michael Jackson was undisputably the crown prince of chomosexuals".
Michael Jackson has had a rough year....recent rumors [are] that Jackson isn't just in poor health, but that he's near death....
[His spokesperson/Dr. said,] "Mr. Jackson is in fine health and finalizing negotiations with a major entertainment company and television network for both a world tour and a series of specials and appearances."
That may be true, but it's also the same story we've been spoon fed by the Jackson's flacks for years; he's got something "big" in the works. A major comeback attempt is "imminent."
A handcuffed Michael Jackson walked into the Santa Barbara jail on Thursday to face child molestation charges that could send the pop superstar to prison for years if he is convicted.
Some people are obsessive dieters while others are addicted to smoking or drinking. But there's another kind of obsession that's worrying medical experts: those who repeatedly try to redesign their face and other body parts with expensive and risky plastic surgery.
Michael Jackson is an extreme example of someone who's obsessive about plastic surgery ...
[Catch the part about a guy's nose who kept falling apart - literally. Ugh. -ed.
He's been teetering on the financial brink for years, yet we've learned somehow Michael Jackson has rented a home in one of the most exclusive areas of L.A. for a whopping $100,000 a month.
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